Upon arriving home from Thailand, I quickly typed myself a letter of everything I experienced mentally and physically in hopes of referencing it for future memories. I returned to look at it the other day and although originally intended for personal use, I thought I'd post it here in hopes of conveying one of my favorite parts of travel. Hope you enjoy!
Monday, February 18th, 2019
Wow I’m back. I made it home in one piece. Realizing every travel quote I've ever saved for an inspiration board is painstakingly true is a weird sensation. For once the internet wasn't lying to me. With that shocking revelation aside, the first phrase that resonated with me, especially when I walked into my house was this one:
Besides the bitter cold that hit me on the outside of JFK, once home, I was astounded by how acutely aware I was of the smell of my house (the smell of winter and home itself), how fresh the cold tap water tasted, how soft the carpet felt under my feet (which, to be fair, it is new but whatever, details), how amazing the hot water pressure of the shower was, as well as the intense scents of my shower gel, shampoo, and conditioner, and most importantly, the devastatingly comforting and soft bed I get to call my own. I do not recall feeling anything so relaxing and fulfilling at the same time. Literally being swaddled in happiness.
Even this morning, when I drove over to buy breakfast at Bagels n’ Cream around the corner, it felt incredibly bizarre to 1) be driving in the first place and 2) feel like such a stranger in a place I’d frequented too many times to count. And then there is that especially marvelous moment when I approached the cash register and had to stop myself from saying “sa-wa-dee-ka” (Hello) and “mai ow tungh” (No plastic bag). Even the man ringing up my order speaking English was enough to throw me off balance. I may have gone off on a somewhat life-altering adventure on the opposite side of the globe but guess what, the world goes on without you. You may be at the center of your own universe but you are most certainly not at the center of others'. Everything is the same and yet you are the one that’s different. But of course, no one can tell by just looking at you because it’s your soul, mind, and heart that's been irrevocably changed.
Essentially, your concept of “normal” is no longer what it used to be.
In a few short months, "normal" became waiting on the side of the street for a modified green pickup truck to take me to my favorite night market. "Normal" was not seeing the bottom of my feet ever fully clean for weeks at a time. "Normal" was trying to have a conversation with a stranger in which neither of you really spoke the other’s language but diligently persisted anyway.
Perhaps I felt similarly when I first returned home from France or perhaps it is entirely different because I was in the East this time and not the West. Either way, it was quite an adjustment.
The other astounding part is that in the moment, when you are traveling and being present in your destination, in your space, you do not feel yourself changing and only realize the depth of that change upon returning home. I certainly did not feel like I was a different person in Thailand or even feel like I was becoming someone different but I guess that’s the beauty of it—you inevitably do change because you are absorbing and adapting to the environment around you.
It’s incredible and indescribable to be surrounded by so much familiarity and yet so much novelty at the same time. I almost feel as though I’m doing some things for the first time like drinking water (from the tap) or looking out to my backyard and seeing the usually green commons tinged with the brown of winter.
It’s absolutely enchanting.
Comments